The Baudelaires go to Hogwarts
by Remus'gal
Summary: Um, i wrote this ages ago..way different from my other storys, comedy, funny at some points... it's lemony snicketharry potter crossover... doesn't the title tell it all? P.s: it's all randomness, so if you like random, you'll like this...
1. Chapter 1

Harry sat up and looked around. A boy was standing in the doorway. He wasn't wearing robes, he was wearing a dress coat.

"Hello, who are you?" Harry asked the boy.

"I'm Klaus, Klaus Baudeliare." he replied. "Who are you?" "I'm Harry, Harry Potter."

Klaus smiled and said, "I think that me an my siblings are going to have a good life after all."

Harry looked at him puzzled. "Have a good life? Don't you have one already?" Harry asked.

"Sadly no, me and my two sisters are very unfortunate people." Klaus sighed.

"Well, here I'll show you where your bed is." Harry said getting up and walking over to an empty bed. Klaus unpacked his things and went to sleep. Harry went to sleep as well.

The next morning...

Harry awoke with Ron hitting him with a pillow.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow! Stop, Ron!" he shouted.

Ron stopped and gave Harry a big grin. "What?" harry asked. Ron just kept grinning at Harry. "What?" harry repeated.

"We have three new students!" Ron said joyfully, then he leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "And one is a total hotty."

Harry stared at Ron, confused. Ron rolled his eyes. "Come on I'll show you!" he said grabbing Harry by the wrist and running into the common room.

In the common room there was a huge crowd of boys, surrounding a girl Harry didn't recognize. Even Draco was there!

Ron ran into the crowd, bringing Harry with him. Ron let go of Harry and went toppling into the girl.

Harry got up and quickly turned around and helped the girl up. "I'm so sorry! I really am! Sorry!" he said helping her up. "Oh it's ok, I've had worse." she said brushing the dirt off herself.

Harry grabbed Ron by the wrist and pulled him to a corner of the room. "RON! YOU...YOU...YOU..." harry took in a deep breath and continued. "CAKE SNIFFER!"

Then a horrbile looking girl by the name of Carmelita Spats poped up between the two boys and said, "Hey you little cake sniffer! That's my line!"

And then she ducked into the crowd.

"What was all that about?" Ron asked.

"I don't know." Harry shrugged.

Then Hermione came down the steps and walked over to Ron and Harry. "Hey, Hermione we saw this really hot chick today!" Ron said. Harry looked annoyed at this so he wacked Ron on the head with the pillow.

Then Hermione walked away from the boys and then saw the cutest boy she had seen in here entire life.

Klaus was reading a book in front of the fireplace. She walked over to him. "What are you reading?" she asked shyly. "Quiditch Through the Ages, why do you ask?" he said looking up from the book.

"Oh that is a good one. Well hope you enjoy it." she said walking away. She started to blush. that was so embarrassing! She thought.

Klaus looked after Hermione. "What going on with her?" he thought out loud, then he started to read his book.

Violet walked over to Klaus, and Sunny crawled over to them.

"Klaus, do you have the feeling that someone is trying to get something from you?" asked Violet. "Yes sort of." Klaus replied. "Nili!" Sunny said which probably meant, "No, at least I don't think so."

Draco walked over with a big grin on his face. "Are you supposed to be here?" asked Klaus. "No." Draco said.

Violet stood up and walked away. Then Draco saw her, Sunny, in all her glory, his true love.

"Hewwo!" Sunny greeted Draco. Draco blushed, then walked away, but tripped and fell head fist on his face. Sunny giggle, Klaus did the same as Sunny. Draco got up, blushing an even deeper red, then he tripped again. Sunny and Klaus gasped, then giggled again. Draco got up and ran out of the common room.

Harry walked over. "Hi, Klaus." Harry said sitting down. "Hello, Harry." Klaus said, smiling. "Hewwo!" Sunny greeted. Harry smiled at Sunny.

"Harry, do you know who that beautiful girl over there in the corner?" Klaus asked pointing to Ginny. "That's Ginny. You like her or something?" Harry said. "Oh, uh no, I'm just saying that she looks nice." Klaus started to blush. Then he held his book up to hide his face. Harry shrugged and looked around for Violet.

Then it was Breakfast and everyone walked down to the Great Hall. In the Great Hall, Harry and Ron sat on each side of Violet. Hermione sat next to Klaus and Draco, somehow got to the Gryffindor table and sat next to Sunny.

"What do you think you're doing here, Malfoy ?" Said Ron in a disgusted voice "I was just wondering why the new Kids are at the Gryfindor table?" Said Draco.

"Gryffindor?"

"Gryffindor?"

"Griffindor?" The three Baudalaires said one after an other. " You don't know what Gryffindor is?" asked Lavender Brown from across the table.

Draco ignored her, and kept on going." I mean you guys haven't even gotten sorted yet, until then you should sit here with me at the Slitherin table."

" Attention, Attention everyone, as you might have noticed, we have three new students! Announced Professor McGonagall. "Would you three please come up to be sorted?" asked Professor McGonagall.

The three children weren't sure what to do, they wondered what they were getting sorted for.

They heard mumbling that contained the words: Gryffindor , Slytherin , Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. They had no idea what it meant.

When they got up to the platform they saw a very old man in a wizards hat for some reason. The elder's name was Albus Dumbledore. "Let the sorting ceremony begin for the three Baudalaires" There was a huge applause, the three Baudalaires were so embarrassed that they blushed.

Now let's see what house you will be in at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry!"

"Witchcraft and wizardry" yelled the three orphans in confusion. " Dont be daft Children!" Dumbledore replied.

_"For sapphires we are held in here."_

_"Only you can end our fear."_

_"Until down comes we cannot speak."_

_"No words can come from this sad beak."_

_" The first thing you read contains the clue:"_

_"An initial way to speak to you."_

_" Inside the letters the eye will see,"_

_" Nearby are your friends and V.F.D" _

"Hey! How do you know about that?"

Asked the three Baudelaires in unison.

" What?" asked the hat confused. They went on anyhow.

Klaus went first. He stood up to the podium, he went closer to sit on the stool. " Hmmm... yes very smart...but where to put you...GRYFFINDORE!

A huge applause came from the gryffindore table, especially from Hermione. Next Violet stood up to the stool.

"Amazing... Very skilled...you're an inventor?..GRYFFIDOR!

Another huge applause came from the Griffindore table this time the cheers were quiet loud from Harry and Ron.

Now it was Sunny's turn. Violet lifted her up to the chair.

"My... look at all the talented things you've done!...SLYTHERIN!

Draco started doing the limbo, and dancing and singing. YIPEEEEEE!

Everyone looked at him puzzled. He was still dancing.

" I think that's enough Mr. Malfoy" Snapped professor McGonagall.

The three children took their spots at the tables. Food appeared on the table and everyone started to eat. Sunny was bored out of belief, so she climbed up onto the table, picked up a pancake and shouted: "FOOD FIGHT!"

and threw the pancake. It landed on a Huffelpuff's head and she threw some portage at Draco. Even the teachers joined in. The food fight went on and on until Professor Snape stopped it all.


	2. Chapter 2

Sunny threw the pancake. It landed on a Huffelpuff's head and she threw some portage at Draco. Even the teachers joined in. The food fight went on and on until Professor Snape stopped it all.

Instead of going to their first class the whole school had to clean the great hall. While cleaning the floor, Sunny saw...her...her TRUE LOVE!

A little baby boy was crawling around on the floor, scrubbing away at some surup that had spilled. Sunny slowly crawled over and said: "Hewwo!" Sunny wasn't shy, but the little boy was. He stopped scrubbing and turned a deep deep red, then he started to crawl away as fast as he could. Sunny was so ashamed of herself. How could I have been so stupid? she thought, crawling back to where she had been cleaning earlier.

At their first class...

"I wonder who our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is." Harry said excitedly. His question was answered when a tall dark figure walked in.

He put his books down on his desk and said. "Hello, hello, hello. I am your beloved Professor Butskins."

It was Olaf, the Baudelaires knew it. But he didn't look like Olaf, there was no awful glint to his eyes, but a charming twinkle, like Dumbeldore's. On this man there was never a unibrow, but two perfect eye brows. The Baudelaires didn't care how he looked, they just knew from the way he talked, and acted.

"Wow!" Hermione shrieked. "He's so dreamy!"

"Klinka," Sunny said, which probably meant, "How could she love such a horrible horrible man? What a shmuck." Violet nodded in approval. Hermione turned to Sunny, Violet and Klaus and asked, "What?" Klaus sighed, his siblings did the same. Hermione looked at the three orphans and shook her head, then turned her gaze back to Olaf.

Count Olaf looked out at the class room and an evil grin crawled across his face.

"Now class... Let's open our books to page fifty-eight." he sneered. The class did as they were told, and turned to page fifty-eight.

Klaus looked at the title of the chapter and his eyes grew wide. "Violet," he whispered. "This chapter is about Warewolves!

What Kind of class is this?" Violet shook her head. And looked the page infront of her up and down. Her sibling was right it was about Warewolves.

Before she could even open her mouth to say something, Count Olaf spoke.

"Let's have someone read us this chapter." he said, his voice booming through the whole room. Hermione 's hand shot up. But Olaf looked past her and looked strait at the Baudeliares.

"Why doesn't Monkey-I mean Sunny, read it out loud." Sunny grimased. Klaus stood up. "You can't tell her to read that!" he shouted. "She's still to young!" Olaf smirked at the middle Baudeliare.

Violet looked at Olaf and then Klaus, and stood up. "I agree with Klaus!" she shouted.

Sunny looked at her siblings and shook her head. "I'm not a baby." she said.

Klaus and Violet sat and looked at their sister, waiting for her to do what she was going to do.

Sunny cleared her throat and looked at the page. Then she started to read it in perfect English. And then she read it over in French and then in Latin and then in Spanish. Count Olaf's mouth fell open.

Sunny didn't stop, she continued she started doing a kind of grunting noises and pointing motions.

" You can speak troll?" Exclaimed Dean Thomas across the room.

Then they heard a noise that they would never forget, that still haunts them to this day.

She started speaking parsle- tongue. At that moment something happened that was truly astounding, unbelievable there in the defense against the dark arts classroom came the incredibly deadly viper!

" Screw that!" shouted Olaf.

Klaus and Violet suddenly noticed that Olaf's awful troupe was there.

Esme,Fernald,Fiona(when Klaus saw her there, his heart broke)Kevin,Colette,Hugoand the dreadful Carmelita Spats. They were all dressed up as lemons, of different colours and Olaf was a big rainbow lemon.

The horrible troupe burst into song at that moment.

Olaf:

_Hey You! The Rainbow lemons are gonna rock your world!_

Kevin:

_AHHH!Looks at Hands_

Esme:

_There's red lemons: sass, drama_ _in style _

Carmelita:

_there's orange lazy lemons lying on the grass like cakesniffers _

All:

_Like Cakesniffers_

Fernald:

_There's yellow lemons eerie and hollow_

Fiona:

_There's green nasty and mean, it aint' no lime- remembering those good times_

Hugo:

_There's blue lemons sad, and sensitive it is hard being a hunchback._

Carmelita

YO! Hugo stick to the lemons

Colette:

_There's violet lemons who are in love with violet, and are cool_

Carmelita

_There's the black lemon evil and nasty it comes from the sky!_

All:

_Is it a bird, is it a plane?_

Esme

_NO, it's the Black glorious evil lemon!_

All

_Hurray!_

Olaf:

_Hey you! The rainbow lemons will destroy the world!_

All:

_explosion Yeaaaahhhhh!_

Kevin:

_AHHHHH! look s at hands_

The classroom burst into an applause. Olaf and his acting troupe bowed, except Fiona. Fiona ran of somewhere when the others weren't looking.


	3. Chapter 3

later in the gryffindor common room

" We didn't know that your sister was a parsel- mouth!"

Exclaimed Ron as they entered the common room.

" What's a pasel- mouth?" Asked Klaus confused.

" A parsel mouth is someone who can talk to snakes" answered Hermione.

" I'm a parsel-mouth" Harry piped up. "But it's because when Voldemort tried to kill me, he transferred some of his powers."explained Harry

" Can we please start from the beginning?" asked Violet. "What is this place, what are you? Why are you so special?

So, Harry, Ron and Hermione told the Baudelaires all their years at Hog warts and the exciting things they faced.

" Wow, you've been through a lot"

" What about you?"

The Baudelaires told Harry, Ron and Hermione about their awful lives.

"Wow, you've been through a lot" Said Harry.

Count Olaf and his troupe

" There's too many cakesniffers in this place" complained Carmelita Spats.

" Tell me about it" Replied Kevin looking wearily at his hands.

" No one here is in" Retorted Esme

While everyone was complaining, Fiona sat in the corner, crying thinking of Klaus, and her stepfather, she missed them.

Olaf and his troupe were getting drunk( Carmelita was getting drunk on ice cream) and of coarse they were all sniffing cake.

When they heard a really screechy voice.

heavy Breathing

"let me rip you"

" Kill... Kill"

It was LORD VOLDEMORT!

" YO, dude! Can't you see we're kickn' it old school!" Olaf exclaimed.

heavy breathing

" Shoo...shoo get out of here!" Olaf said annoyed.

still breathing heavily

" If I pay you 20 bucks, will you go away?" Asked Olaf reluctantly.

"Fine"said a high pitched voice

clears throat " you will pay some day! You will pay!"

"I did!" Cried Olaf.

" What a cakesniffer" said Carmelita annoyed.

Klaus put his pajamas on and crept into his bed when he heard a familiar voice.

" YO! Diggy dog! What's happenin'?"

If Klaus didn't see him he would not know who it was.

" Quigley?" Klaus asked puzzled.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning

The Baudelaires were so delighted to se the quagmire triplets again.

They got sorted, Duncan and Isadora were in Gryffindor, and Quigley was in Slitherin.

Sunny saw that sexy baby again, and this time she went up to him.

And right before her eyes the baby became a bat-like creature.

" Hello." said the bat thingy embarrassed.

" Hi." Sunny was really, really flabbergasted.

The thing hurried off into the kitchens.

Sunny shrugged her shoulders and kept on going.

Luna came over to Harry and Isadora.

" HI!" Isadora exclaimed.

" Hello Isadora" Luna turned to Harry. " Hi, Harry"

Before harry could say a word Isadora started talking really fast.

" OH, Luna this is the Baudelaires, Klaus, Violet and HEY! Did Sunny die! Where is she? WE HAVE TO FIND HER!"

"Izzi, calm down" said Duncan to Harry's relief.

" I'm very pleased to meet you." Said Luna to the Baudelaires.

Klaus was gapping at Luna with his tong open.

" Isadora has told me so much about you."

" She's perty, Harry!"

" Oh, well I guess I'll see you later then, Harry."

Harry looked after her dreamily.

" SHE'S HOT!" Declared Klaus to the Gryffindor table.

" SHE'S MINE" roared Harry.

Ron cam up to the table.

" There's going to be gryffindor quiditch tryouts , and we'd like the whole team to be there" Said Ron to Harry.

Since Ron had become quiditch gryffindor captain, he was constantly talking about practice, and meetings.

Harry Gave Klaus an Evil glare, and left the great hall.

" Was it something I said?" asked Ron stupidly.

Isadora walked up to Ron.

" Hey, uh, who are you?"

Ron Blushed and walked away.

Ever since Olaf had met Minerva, he knew he had to leave Esme .

" Oh... Esme our relationship has been so long" No

"Esme, I'm forced by ninjas to leave you." NO!

" ESMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

" What?" replied a drawling voice.

" Oh, dearest I've been meaning to tell you something-

" Me too. Ladies first."

"I want to break up with you, your turn"

" WHAT? What?"

" I'm in love with Severous!" Said Esme.

" Well., I'm in love with Minerva" snapped Olaf.

" Fine."

"FINE!"

(Music in) " Oh, Esme"

Olaf:

_I will miss you._

Esme:

_I will forget you._

_What have I done Bad?_

Esme:

_What did he do good?_

Olaf:

_What about the fortune?_

Esme:

_It will lay on Snape's chin._

Olaf:

_I feel like a boar._

Esme:

_I don't care any more._

All:

_I don't care anymore!_


	5. Chapter 5

That night, Harry had a plan, a plan that would never make Klaus love Luna again.

"MUHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Shut up, fool!" Said someone.

Harry grabbed his invisibility cloak, and put the plan into action.

The door creaked open, violet decided to go close it when she heard her brother.

"VIOLET HELP ME!"

Violet didn't know where the voices were coming from.

" Klaus? Where are you?" She asked.

" Here!" Exclaimed Klaus impatiently.

" Well that exactly help!"

" I'm invisabllllllleeeeeeeee!"

" I know your good at hid and seek, but I think that's a little exaggerated!"

Violet sat down, her face in her knees, when she heard someone crying in the bathroom.

It was Fiona.

Violet looked over her shoulder, she was clutching a picture of Klaus.

" What have you done with my brother?" Asked Violet

" What are you talking about? Asked Fiona

" Klaus is missing, and I can't fin him"

" And...?" said Fiona.

" I thought you could help." said Violet.

" Now how would I be able to do that, when you never trusted me."

" If, you still love him, then you'll help me, if you don't then you can stay."

" Fine, I'll come."

Violet and Fiona looked out the window, there he was, in a bird cage above the womping willow.

"MUHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Violet and Fiona ran down to the womping willow.

" Violet! Help me!... FIONA?" Exclaimed Klaus.

"MUHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

" Will you quit that already?" Asked Fiona

" Sure." said Harry.

" Put my brother down!"

" Not until he leaves Luna alone!" Said Harry.

" LUNA!" Yelled Fiona.

" Yeah, luna my girlfriend!" said Harry

" I am officially breaking up with you!" yelled Violet

" We were never together!" exclaimed Harry

Violet shrugged and punched Harry smack in the face.

" Happy now?" Violet asked.

Harry let go of the string that was holding Klaus up. Klaus fell to the floor.

" Obliviate!" Fiona cast at Klaus

"Now he won't remember anything that happened, and he won't remember_ Luna_ and he wont ever be attracted to her again."

" As for Harry, he won't remember a thing that happened today." Said Violet

" Obliviate!" Violet cast at Harry.

Violet and Fiona took the two unconscious boys, the invisibility cloak cl, and the bird cage back to the common room.

" Thanks." Violet said to Fiona.

" I haven't had this much fun since I left you and Klaus." Fiona said.

" Now that you think of it, neither have I." Said Violet.

Violet brought Fiona into the common room.

" What happened to your step dad?" asked Violet.

" He died, Olaf and the others killed him."

Before violet could reply, Fiona was out the door crying.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day

It was their first potions lesson today. Harry, Ron and Hermione were dreading it, but Klaus , Violet, Duncan and Isadora were looking foreword to it.

"I had a weird dream yesterday." said Klaus.

" So did I." Said Harry.

" What was it about?" Asked Violet nervously.

" Lard." They both said at the same time.

" That's very interesting." Said Violet, with a sound of relief in her voice.

Quigley walked over to the table, and faced Hermione.

Hermione stared at him dreamily, blushing.

"Yo, Hermione. Sup, dawg? Gin has been straight up trippin' wonderin' where y'all have been. 'Mione, ya were suppos'd ta meet her in the field ten min't ago."

Hermione stared at her plate, and stopped blushing.

Quigley turned to face Violet.

" Art thou purple-

"psst it's Violet." Whispered Duncan, disgusted.

" Yo, Dawg will you jus' go up trippin' out with me- Hey, DUDE YOU'RE NOT WEARING A BRA! Exclaimed Quigley.

Violet's eyes widened, and she slapped Quigley across the face.

" Dawg,_ that_ was fresh!" Said Quigley.

" I'll show you fresh!" Yelled Violet.

And with that she gave him a bloody nose, two black eyes, and a bro ken lip.

Klaus put his hand on Violet's shoulder.

" I thinks he's unconscious, we better take him to the hospital wing." He said.

" I'll go out with you!" Cried Hermione.

Potions Class

They entered the dungeon, a whole bunch of jaws dropped.

" Why does Snape have hearts everywhere? Asked Ron flabbergasted.

" And albums and posters of Elvis" Pointed out Hermione.

" And pictures of Esme on his desk!" exclaimed Klaus

" Esme and Olaf broke up!" Yelled Violet

" Yes, that's right! When I met Severous, I knew we were meant for each other!"

" So you're not trying to steal our fortune?" asked Violet

" Of coarse not! Why would I want that! I have Severous now, and that's all I need!"

Everyone took their seats, the girls in the front row, and the boys in the back.

The wall smashed open and there stood a really cool dude with jet black Elvis hair, he wore a leather jacket and shades. He rode a Harley He put his thumbs up.

" Groovy, baby!" exclaimed Snape

" That is like riches dude! Exclaimed Harry

" AHHHHH!" Said all the girls in awe.

They all fainted meaning the boys to catch them, instead they stepped back shaking their heads at Snape.

Harry turned to Ron.

" Ron, flip your hair with me!"

So Ron and harry started flipping their hair until-

" I'm not wearing a bra!" Shouted violet enthusiastically.

Everyone stopped flipping their hair to stare at Violet.

" Yo, Dawg I knew it!" Screamed Quigley from across the building.

Finally, everyone took their seats.

"Class, I don't feel like miking boring liquids, so let's watch a movie, baby!" Said Snape happily.

" A Movie?" asked some of the students.

" Let's watch The Titanic!. Thank you, thank you very much!"

So the class watched the Titanic, which redsulted to everyone crying and balling.

" That was the best class ever!" exclaimed Ron as they stepped out of the Dungeons.

Sunny waited for the Incredibly deadly viper to come.

" I'm sorry viper, but I must leave you to your ponders." Said Sunny

"Because have fallen in love with a bat-thingy."

Sunny:

_I'm sorry viper that this has been short._

Viper:

_I'm sorry Sunny- Wait I have a Wart!_

Fernald:

_I'm sorry someone that I have rash that's producing lard._

Sunny:

_I'm sorry viper, but I fell in love._

Viper:

_I'm sorry Sunny, that I can't wear gloves_

Fernald:

_I'm sorry someone that I have a rash that's producing fungus_

All:

_I'm sorrrryyyyyyyyyyyy!_

They all looked at each other sadly as the song ended.


	7. Chapter 7

In the Slitherin common room

Sunny entered the Slitherin common room, she hated it there, she never saw her siblings, except in the great hall, because she's too young to take the classes.

Sunny noticed the group of Slitherin girls whispering and giggling.

" I absolutely _despise _that stupid baby brat!" Pansy Parkinson spatted to her posy.

" Why, what did she do to you?" Millicent asked.

" _What did she do to me?_ I'll tell you what she did to me! After 3 and a half long years trying to get Draco to notice me, he finally asks me to the yule ball. Then baby brat comes!" Tears were in Pansy's eyes.

" Draco broke up withe me for that..that CAKESNIFFER!

Then a horrible looking girl by the name of Carmelita Spats popped up between the two girls and said, "Hey you little cake sniffer! That's my line!"

And then she ducked into the crowd.

Pansy started sobbing and about 4 hours later she pointed at Sunny.

" YOU!" She snarled.'

" Me?" asked Sunny pathetically.

" Yeah, you! You're going to step away from _my_ man! You got that?" Snarled Pavarti.

" What are you going to do to me?" asked Sunny helplessly.

" Unless you back off from Draco, and he's back with me you'll still have those teeth, if not bye, bye chompers!" And with that, she strode away to the girls dormitory.

Before sunny went to bed, she looked at her teeth longingly .

The next morning

It was quiditch tryouts for the gryffindor team today.

Luna came over to the table. She faced Harry.

" Hello, Harry."

" Well hello to you too." Though it was not harry, but Klaus.

Klaus was wearing a hippie costume, he had a wig, a peace bracelet, red sunglasses, and baggy cloths.

Klaus put up his middle and index finger.

" Peacccccee" he said smoothly.

Luna turned to him.

" Oh, hello Klaus." She said dreamily.

" Call me Bo, Bo Baudelaire."

A whole crowd of girls were staring at Klaus at this.

" I like that name...Bo." Luna said dreamily.

Harry gave Klaus a glare and stormed out of the great hall, again.

In potions class they got their papers back about their essays of what they thought about the movie, each paper was embroidered with little hearts.

" I think Snape likes me." said Isadora to Harry.

" I think he likes me too." said Harry showing Isadora his paper.

That day, Harry had a plan, a plan that would never make Klaus love Luna again.

It was time for the Quiditch practice. Luna, Hermione and Fiona watched.

Harry was seeker, Ron was keeper, Ginny, Isadora and Violet were chasers and Duncan was one of the beaters.

" OK, one more spot left." Said Ron checking his list.

" it's between Seamus, Dean and Klaus.

Harry pointed at Klaus evilly " Him, MAKE HIM THE BEATER!"

" OK... Klaus it is!" Declared Ron.

Quigley walked past the seats where the girls were sitting in, then Fiona's and Quigley's eyes met.

Quigley walked up to her, only this time he was not speaking ghetto, but has an British gentleman accent.

" Hello, fair maiden." Fiona started to blush.

" Will you accompany me for a cup tea and crumpets?"

" What?" asked Fiona stupidly.

" Yo, dawg will you go on a date with me?"

" I would be happy to assist you." answered Fiona, blushing.

" What about me?" Called Hermione from behind them.

So Fiona and Quigley went for crumpets and tea, while harry had something else up his sleeve.

Luna came up to Klaus- I mean _Bo_ to kiss him on the cheek.

" Congratulations...Bo." She said dreamily.

Harry was flaming red, he looked as if he were about to go on fire.

Harry Grabbed Bo by the wrist and portkeyed to a small room right beside the coffee shop where Fiona and Quigley were staying.

Klaus was tied up to a chair, and a bright light was shining on his face.

" What have you done with Luna?" he asked seriously

" I-

Harry interrupted Klaus.

"Anyways drink this." Harry haded a bottle of love potion to Klaus it said ,the first person you lay eyes on is the person you will love for the rest of your life, unconditionally.

Klaus drank it.

The next thing Fiona barged in, Klaus saw her and smashed himself away from the ropes.

Fiona shielded herself before Klaus could pounce on her.

"Klaus, I'm sorry but I must leave you, for Quigley.

Klaus:

_I loved you, and you loved me that's the way it used to be._

Fiona:

_That was then, this is now but please don't have a cow._

Klaus:

_What did I do wrong?_

_Quigley:_

_You picked your nose infront of her._

Ron:

_You were mental like a Niffler._

Fernald:

_I Have a rash, and It's producing lard!_

Klaus:

_What did I do wrong?_

Quigley:

_You took to McDonalds._

Ron:

_You made her hug Ronald._

Fernald:

_I Have a rash, and it's producing fungus!_

_Klaus:_

_What did I do wrong?_

Quigley:

_You called her a pony._

Ron:

_You turned her into a piece of Baloney._

Fernald:

_I have a rash and it's producing fruit loops!_

Klaus:

_What did I do wrong?_

Quigley:

_You painted her red, green and blue._

Ron:

_You farted in her shoe._

Fernald:

_I Have a rash, and it's producing bananas!_

Klaus:

_What did I do wrong?_

Quigley:

_You traded her soul for a piece of pizza._

Klaus: _What did I do wrong?_

All: _EVERYTHING! _

Klaus and Fiona ran out of the dark room.

" Well, that's all we can do." Quigley grimaced.

Later on that night, from the dark room you could hear a very disturbing noise, it was Harry, cackling.

" MUHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning

Sunny was so depressed out of her wits, and Draco drooling over her didn't help the matter.

Then sunny lightened up a little (aside the fact of Draco drooling over her, and Pansy glaring at her) she saw Duncan staring dreamily at Pansy, and Isadora gaging at Draco, with her mouth open in awe.

" Hey." Sunny whispered to herself, she had a plan maybe she would be able to keep her teeth after all.

Hermione came bursting into the hall holding someone's hand.

" I smell trouble." Said Klaus cautiously.

" No, you are like just smelling international quiditch player, VIKTOR KRUM!" Screamed Pavarti.

" Ahh..B.O." Replied Klaus peacefully.

"What does that stand for? asked Pavarti.

" Body odor." replied Klaus.

" Hi, everyone!" Exclaimed Hermione.

Everyone was beaming at Hermione, except Ron. Ron looked anything but happy- a term which means that some one is miserable, austere, hostile, vile, carnivorous, grim, ominous, teary and many other awful, awful things, now I can not explain how horrible Ron felt when Viktor Krum came into the great hall- do you know what I love? A basket of kittens, so if you had any sense of sensibility then you would put this story down, run the bookstore and buy a book about a basket of kittens- or even better go to a pet shop, purchase a basket of kittens for only $5 limited time offer, then you could burry this story in your backyard, and never miserable Ron felt, but on the other hand if you have no sense of humor then keep reading, because you will after you finish this dreadful, and may I say myself Hilarious tale, on the third hand ( if you have a third hand) you have a sense of humor you can choose to see what Ron does to Viktor Krum, and pee your pants, or you can go purchase a basket of kittens and never find out what happens, take my advice: READ IT, OR COUNT OLAF CHASE YOU UP A TREE- then Carmelita came and wacked Lemony Snicket over the head with a sledge hammer.

" MY PART'S COMING UP YOU CAKESNIFFER, DON'T MAKE THEM LEAVE!"

That was it, Ron had enough.

" I've had enough!" He bellowed into a microphone, he pulled out a gun, some people gasped.

Viktor pulled out his gun, some people awed.

" Of coarse you awe for him!" Shouted Ron annoyed.

Then a voice came over from the stands, it was, it was... GILDEROY LOCKHART!

" We're here from Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, and let me tell you folks, there is an extremely exciting and unfortunate event going on today! World Wide international quiditch player, Viktor Krim and um.. Student- Lockhart walked up to Ron.

" What's your name, kid?"

" Ron Weasley." Replied Ron

"Best friend of the famous Harry Potter, John Cheasley trying to win the heart of this loverly girl!"

Lockhart turned to face Hermione, and direct her to the camera. Hermione blushed a deep, deep red, from the fact that Ron was trying to win her heart, to the fact that she was on T.V.

" Let the war of the worlds begin!"

Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa. Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa.

Ron tried to shoot the trigger, so did Viktor, their gun weren't loaded, they loaded their guns.

Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa. Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa .

" Hey, why are we using Guns" Asked Ron.

Viktor and Ron threw the guns aside, and reached for their pockets to get their wands.

Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa . Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa

Battery dead.

" Forget it!" Screamed Ron, and charged at Viktor.

The two guys were fighting hours on end, when Viktor caught a glance at his true love, not Hermione but Violet.

They stared into each others eyes, and knew that there was a purpose in living.

They ran into each other arms, until their lips touched, they were the perfect couple.

" The winner is JOHN CHEASLEY?" Announced Lockart confused looking up from his issue of witch weekly.

Hermione looked at the person she had loved ever since that first night on the Hogwarts express, Ron did the same.

They ran into each others arms, until their lips touched, they were the perfect couple.

" BEATRICE!" wailing could be heard in the background, it was Lemony.

( everyone say it with me, AWWWW!)

" FIONA!" Wailed Klaus.

Everyone gave a little shrug, and went back to their breakfast.


	9. Chapter 9

Later that morning Olaf stood by professor McGonagall.

He was a skull in his hand. He lifted the skull up to his face.

" Oh, Minerva I love you." And with that, he started kissing the skull passionately.

" Hello." It was Minerva.

" MINERVA!" Shouted Olaf in surprise.

" YOULOVEI." He exclaimed stupidly.

" Excuse me?" Minerva asked confused.

" Minerva, I love you." Olaf could n't believe it came out right.

" I love you too." Minerva blurted out.

And with that, they started Kissing passionately.

"Would you like to come in?" asked Minerva after they finished.

Olaf nodded and walked into the office.

Let's watch a movie, shall we?" Olaf asked.

Minerva nodded, and Olaf put the movie in the projector.

_**Violet and Quigley's Love**_

_Quigley and Violet sat on the hill, staring out at the Sun Set._

_"Thank you, for the pick-nick." Violet said, blushing._

_"no problem." Quigley said quickly, blushing a little, as well._

_"Quigley, I-I love you." blurted out. "do you feel the same way about me?"_

_"Of course I do." Quigley said, taking Violet's hands in his. They stared into each other's eyes, and then leaned in closer, until their lips touched. They stayed that way for a few minutes and then pulled away from each other._

_"Wow, your good at kissing." Violet admited._

_"Your not that bad, yourself." Quigley smiled._

_Then they heared the sound of a gun being loaded. They turned to Klaus holding a gun. Klaus pointed it at Quigley._

_"I'm sorry Violet, but he is not the one for you." Klaus said. Then he pulled the trigger and Quigley fell to the ground._

_"Quigley!" Violet screamed. She kneeled down beside him and took his hand._

_"We will always have Paris." Quigley whispered._

_"We never went to Paris." Violet said. Then Quigley closed his eyes, and lay there, dead. "NOOOO!" Violet shrieked._

_"Cut!" yelled count Olaf give more enthusiasm! I want more passion!_

_Fernald, Esme and Fiona un zippered their suits to reveal themselves._

_" County! Don't make me kiss that Hady-caped freak again!"_

_"Fine, I'll play Quigley"_

_...Somewhere else..._

_Mommy? does that mean that Quigley is alive?_

_"Sheldon? what's wrong_

_(mother stats doing the worm)_

_"Mommy! Your scaring me!_

_( mother and son magically appear at Count Olaf's studio) _

"_What are you two doing here? Said Count Olaf confused._

" _We just wanted to be on tv" Replied the mother._

You're a fan of Count Olaf?" Minerva Asked Olaf.

" I'm his brother." Replied Olaf.

" What's your fist name?" Minerva asked Olaf.

Olaf hadn't thought about this. He glanced at the DVD cover.

" Sheldon." He answered.

" Why did your brother do a play on Violet and Quigley?" Minerva asked

" He just happened to know them, and thought they would make a good play."

" Oh" She said blankly.

" My class will be here in five minutes."

Minerva and Olaf- Sheldon went up to the door.

" Thank you, for the best date in my life." Said Minerva to Sheldon.

" No, Thank you."

Silent pause

" Could I have a kiss goodbye?" Asked Sheldon .

" Oh, I think you might maybe may." replied Minerva shyly.

They leaned in for a kiss, when Minerva backed away.

Takes out retainer

Then the whole class came barging in when Sheldon and Minerva didn't notice. They leaned into kiss each other.

" Get a room, will you?" Asked Ron in a snigger, yet a disgusting voice.

Ron knew he made a mistake, probably a months detention.

"Great suggestion, Ron. I think I will." Said Minerva dreamily.


	10. Chapter 10

" Today class, you will all become animagi."

They went with the lesson, the Baudelaires found out that anamagi is a person that can turn into an animal whenever they want.

Hermione was a otter, Harry was a stag, Ron was a Jack russel terrier(so was Ginny) Klaus was a worm, Violet was a mole, Victor was a hedgehog, Draco was a ferret, Pansy was a skunk, Fiona was a seal, Carmelita was a cake and Sunny was a wolf baby.

Since Carmelita and Fiona had started taking lessons, Fiona and Carmelita had more friends, they were both in gryffindore.

At Lunch break Carmelita decided to walk down the hallways and point out whether a person was a cakesniffer(lame), a bagelsniffer(stupid) or a rosesniffer(highclass).

She had done all the hallways, and the common rooms( She got the passwords from Esme) and so far there were one bagelsniffers two rosesniffer( herself, and Esme) and 687 cakesniffers. Now it was time to check the moving stairways.

There were 7 floors, she had done 6, and then, and then, and then she ran up to the passageway to get to the 7 floor, but the stairs weren't there and she fell, she fell 300 feet in the air, until, until some one caught her, an extremely hot guy.

When the guy landed with her on the ground in his arms, everyone started clapping and whistling.

Carmelita had hearts in her eyes now staring at him.

" Thanks." She said Quietly.

" You're welcome."

It was the greatest voice she had ever heard.

"I'm Spats Carmelita." _How could she sounds so stupid!_

" I'm Neville, Neville Long bottom." Said Neville.

Carmelita could see that Neville seemed to be staring at her dreamily, as well could it be that he maybe loved her too?

Without thinking Carmelita blurted something out.

" Iloveyou." She said it rather quickly.

" I've noticed you ever since you sang in class, you have a lovely voice." Neville was saying.

" I love you, too." He responded.

Carmelita thought she was going to blow up, because of the lack of blushing she was doing, or explode with happiness.

" Would you like to dance?" Asked Neville shyly.

" Of coarse." Carmelita said, blushing.

Their school robes turned into brilliant dress robes. Neville was wearing a very tuxedo, and Carmelita was wearing a very, big, puffy, beautiful red dress, with a tiara.

" Hey, why is that thing there?" Carmelita threw the crown aside, and the began dancing.

_So far away  
Come on I'll take you far away  
Let's get awayCome on let's make a get away _

_Once you have loved someone this much  
you doubt it could fade  
despite how much you'd like it to  
God how you'd like it to fade _

_Let's fade together _

_Let's fade forever _

_Let's fade together_

_If we get away  
You know we might just stay away  
So stay awake  
Why the hell should I stay awake?  
When you're far away  
Oh god you are so far away _

I looked your wall  
Saw that old passport photograph  
I look like I've just jumped the Berlin Wall  
Berlin I love you  
I'm starting to fade

_Let's fade together _

_Let's fade forever_

_Lets fade together_

_They smiled at each other, warmly._

Then their Robes changed into kung-fu outfits.

_Carmelita was kung-fu fighting  
Neville was fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little bit frightening  
But they fought with expert rhyming_

They were funky fish from funky town  
They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down  
It's an ancient Fishy art and everybody knew their part  
From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip

Carmelita was kung-fu fighting  
Neville was fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little bit frightening  
But they fought with expert rhyming  
There was funky Ron and little Sunny  
He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on  
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand  
The sudden motion made me skip now we're into a brand knew trip

Carmelita was kung-fu fighting  
Neville was fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little bit frightening  
But they did it with expert rhyming

(repeat)..make sure you have expert Rhyming  
Kung-fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning 

Carmelita was as happy as ever, and by the looks of it, so was Neville.


	11. Chapter 11

Later that night

Sunny had brought Duncan, and Isadora to meet Pansy, and Draco.

" Sunny, what are we doing _here_

Sunny, I would rather be _there"_ Izzie recited, pointing two steps in front of her

And then Draco and Pansy came.

" Why do you want us here you little brat?" Asked Pansy annoyed.

Draco looked as if he was going to kill her, and Duncan was pretty sure he was.

Then sunny saw...she saw...she saw THE BAT THINGY!

" Hello my Sunny, dear, my name is DobbyDobby the house-elf.

(Music)

Dobby:

_Oh, Sunny how bright and sweat you are._

Sunny:

_Oh, Dobby how strange, and great you are._

Fernald:

_I Have a rash-_

all:

_Get out of here!_

Both:

_Yes you are the one for me._

Dobby:

_We will be as happy as can be._

_Fernald:_

_And I will never have to pee!_

Both:

_We will be together forever._

_ shows picture of them getting married_

Sunny:

_We will be so clever together._

_Shows two in picture next to Albert Einstien_

Fernald:

_You will be good looking unlike her!_

_points at Pansy, who is kissing Duncan, Duncan attacks Fernald_

All:

_You Are the one for meeeeee!_

When they finished singing, sunny noticed that Draco and Isadora were in love, and Pansy and Duncan were _in love_.

Sunny felt a gushing feeling in her stomach. She was only 3 years old and she wanted love so badly...


	12. Chapter 12

Today Ron was going shoe shopping with Hermione.

They walked into the 'in' boutique.

" Hello, how may I help you, please?" asked a woman with an abnormally large nose, and a turban on her head, Ron and Hermione thought she was a fortune teller.

" Are you supposed to be here?" asked Ron.

The women looked at the sign of the store.

" The 'in' boutique?" asked the women, but this time she did not have a strong accent, but a normal American voice.

Now Hermione was too busy looking at the shoes to care much about what was happening.

Ron looked out the window. The woman was storming into a shop called ' Madame Lulu's Guide to your inner strength and beauty"

Then the sub caption said

"if you have an inner strength and beauty...which you probably don't."

Esme and Snape were examining the fortune parlour when they go kicked out(literally)by Madame Lu Lu.

Esme came into the boutique, and went up to the counter.

" Young child, how may I help you, dear?" Asked Esme sweetly.

Ron was scared.

The wall smashed open and there stood a really cool dude with jet black Elvis hair, he wore a leather jacket and shades. He rode a Harley He put his thumbs up.

" Groovy, baby!" exclaimed Snape

" That is like riches dude! Exclaimed Harry.

" Hey, how did you get here?" asked Ron to Harry.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, popped back into the crowd.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Screamed Hermione.

"What's wrong, Dear?" asked Esme sweetly.

"These shoe's aren't in my size!" Cried Hermione.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screamed Esme.

At Hogwarts

" What is that horrible noise?" Asked Principle Nero, the principle of Prufock Preporety school.

Dumbledore sniffed the air.

" I sense...DEPRESSION!"

Dumbledore's robes changed to a super man suite, with a big D on the chest.

" Don't worry someone, don't feel disgrace

Boring man Dumbledore is on the case!"

" And His side-kick, Pillow boy!" Exclaimed Nero.

" Do you want to go over to starbucks, and have a de caff?" Asked Dumbledore to Nero.

Nero shacked his head wildly.

_Boring man, Dumbledore_

_And his sidekick, Pillow boy!_


	13. Chapter 13

In the hallways

Sunny crawled down the hall, minding her own buisness, when she heard voices down the hallway.

She hurriedly jumped behind a plant that had just magicly apeared beside her. "I know, Bo is so cute!" came Luna's voice.

"I thought you liked Harry..." Violet said.

The two girls stopped infront of the plant and looked at each other.

"I like him... but it'll never happen, he's just too good for me,and he would never like me...but, Bo is just so handsome and sweet... and he's not a cakesniffer."

"Who's this Bo character anyways?"Asked Violet

"Your brother."Replied Luna

"Oh... But have you ever thought about what Harry thinks?"

Luna pondered for a moment.

Then Victor Krum walked down the hall.

A group of screaming fan girls turned the corner and one of them shouted: "IT'S INTERNATIONAL QUITICH PLAYER, VICTOR KRUM! GET HIM!"

They all ran down the hall after him, screaming at the top of their lungs. When the crowd turned the corner still chasing Victor, Sunny came out of her hiding spot.

"Dude..." she said.

"Dude..."Luna and Violet said at the same time, nodding their heads.

They heard someone clearing their throat and they turned to see Lemony Snicket standing in the center of the hall.

Sad music started to play.

Lemony:

I'm reaching for the sugar bowl, and crying! Crying... CRYING!

Violet:

Please tell us what they sugar bowl is and we can keep trying,

Luna: To find it! and Bring it to the meeting!

Sunny: Where will we be eating?

Fernald: I have a rash and it's producing Lard!

Klaus came walking down the hall, with an angelic spot-light on him and wearing a white robe and angel wings.

Klaus:

Fernald, Please step forward!

Fernald walked over to Klaus.

Fernald:

What are you going to do?

Klaus touched Fernald's forehead.

Klaus:

Heal you!

Happy music started playing.

Fernald: I'm healed, I'm healed and I know where the sugar bowl is!

Everyone else:

WHERE?

Fernald:

I forgot...

The Music stopped playing, and everyone except for Luna, Violet and Sunny left.

"That was fun!" Luna exclaimed.

"Bunches of Fun!"Violet and Sunny said in unicen.


	14. Chapter 14

Dumbledore called the students down to the great hall to see a performance.

Olaf stood in the middle of the stage. He began to sing.

Olaf:

_I'm Too Sexy  
Right Said Fred_

I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song

Professor Mcgonagall came up to the stage and started wacking olaf with her purse.

" I- thought-you -loved-me!" She cried.

Olaf was still doing the catwalk.

" I'm not in love with you, I'm in love with HER!" Olaf pointed at Esme.

" oppsies, I meant her!" He pointed at Rita, Rita blushed.

I'll help you pick the parts." Said Olaf sitting next to Rita, while sticking his tongue out at Snape.

The Next day

Klaus had to tell Luna something. He met her in the quiditch field.

Klaus began crying, Luna came up to him.

"Bo, what's wrong?" she asked.

Klaus Pointed at Fiona.

" I LOVE HER!" He cried.

Luna had slight tears in her eyes, she walked up to the stage.

Luna:

_Guess mine is not the first heart broken,  
my eyes are not the first to cry I'm not the first to know,  
there's just no gettin' over you   
Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around  
and wait for you  
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else  
for me to do I'm hopelessly devoted to you  
But now there's nowhere to hide,  
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head,   
hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you,   
hopelessly devoted to you  
My head is saying "fool, forget him",  
my heart is saying "don't let go"  
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do  
I'm hopelessly devoted to you  
But now there's nowhere to hide,  
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head,  
hopelessly devoted to you   
Hopelessly devoted to you,  
hopelessly devoted to you_

" Oh, Bo..." Lun_a_ began crying.

" My name's not Bo, it's Klaus." Said Klaus.

" Well in that case, who cares?" Said Luna happily.

"Acctually, my real name is...is Nicolas." Klaus said.

Some people gasped, some people fainted, some people even wet themselves.

"AHHHHHHH!" Screamed Luna.

" WE NEVER KNEW!" Cried Violet and Sunny.

Everything was a wreck at Hogwarts. Violet relized how dimwited Vctor was and gave up on him. Klaus was all alone, Sunny was a wreck. Harry expressed his love for Luna after dating Ginny for a while. And Olaf had it the worst. He couldn't STAND Minerva or Rita. More than any thing he wanted to be with Esme again... As for Draco and Isadora and Pansy and Duncan, when they got to know each other, they hated each other. Well, SOME people were happy, anyways, like Ron and Hermione. They were the perfect couple. Draco finally gave in and started dating Pansy again, and they're quiet enjoying themselves... And Esme and Snape, there was nothing like it...

Things at hogwarts are going to change, and soon they will all find unexpected love...


	15. Chapter 15

The next day:

Fernald stood out of a room on north tower, he was going to see if his life was going to get any better by getting professor Trewlawney to read him his tea leaves.

" Hello?" asked Fernald walking up to the door.

"INTRUDE!" Came a booming voice.

Fernald open the door reluctantly, and there was...was...THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN HE HAD EVER SEEN!

"How may I help you?" She asked Fernald, who he found out was Professor Trelawny.

" I..woul...uh..like..to...uh...get..my..tea..leaves..read..please." He replied, nervously.

"Take a seat."

"Thank you, professor Trelawny."

"Call me Sybill."

The two sat down facing each other at a table with two little bowls on each side.

Sybill picked up the little bowl, that was Fernald's.

She dropped the cup and looked at the broken pottery with a smile on her face.

Fernald looked at Sybill's cup and there was a heart ingraved in the tea leaves.

(Music)

Fernald:

_I'm alone in the world with nothing,_

_searching in the world for something_

_Is there a reason to be alive?_

_I don't even feel alive..._

_Do I have a space in this thing called love?_

_I don't think so, because of this dove._

Someone:

Don't you mean the hooks?

Fernald:

_And the hooks make even more miserable!_

_Is there reason to be alive,_

_Is there reason to be alive,_

_And I don't even fell alive!_

Sybill looked up at him. She had tears in her eyes.

"I feel the same, my true love betrayed me and his friends... His name was Siruis Black..

Fernald looked down at her and smiled warmly. He knew this was the woman he loved. He began to sing.

(Music)

Fernald:

I was lost, but now I'm found.

Sybill:

I used to love someone all year round.

Both:

coming together, coming together, staying forever, together...

Sybill:

Since my Serious Black betrayed me, I've felt there is no hope in this world, but I know there is.

Fernald:

Since I've betrayed my family, I've felt there is no hope in this world, but I'm wrong, because there's love!

Both:

Coming together, coming together, staying forever, together...

Fernald:

I don't have a rash anymore, and I never will as long as I'm with you!

Both:

Opposites UNITE!

Some Guy:

Doughnuts!

Both:

Try to put fists to each other, Sybill keeps missing, shrug shoulders

"Give me your hook." said Sybil.

Fernald put his hook in her hands. She took her wand and replaced the weapon with a beautiful healthy hand.

"I love you." she whispered in his ear.

And they went off into the sunlight, holding hands and giving lovely kisses to each other.


	16. Chapter 16

Everyone had auditioned to be in the school play and the results were finally in!

The next day:

It was time to see who got what part they got in the movie!

Everyone who had auditioned was lined up on stage, looking eagerly at Olaf and Rita. "KLAUS THE CLOUD SLAYER is the new movie!

It is about a teenage super hero who fights two super villans and fights clouds.

Now..." Olaf began. "The people who made it are: Klaus as KLAUS THE CLOUD SLAYER, Violet as VIOLET THE VAPOR SLAYER, Sunny as SUNNY THE SUNSHINE SLAYER, Ron as RON, Hermione as HERMIONE, Joe as JOE THE BUS DRIVER, The Lunch Lady as EARL THE LUNCH LADY, Harry as HARRY THE CAKE-EATER, Quigley as QUIGLEY THE CUMULONIMBUS CLOUD, Duncan as DUNCAN THE STRATUS CLOUD, Isadora as ISADORA THE CIRRUS CLOUD, Fiona as FIONA KLAUS'S LOVER, Carmelita as THE CAKE-SNIFFER FINDER and Neville as CHRIS THE REPLACMENT GUY.

Is all that clear?" Rita finished.

Everyone nodded at eachother and were about to walk away and get ready, when Luna piped up.

"What about me?" she demanded. "I think I was pretty good!"

Rita looked down her list. She looked up and stuck her toung out at Luna.

"There arn't anymore parts." she laughed.

Luna pouted and ran out of the room, still pouting.

"OK, time to start rehersal! I want everyone to go into groups of three!"

Klaus, Violet and Sunny went into one group, Ron, Harry and Hermione in another, Neville, Carmelita and Earl in another, Isadora, Duncan and Quigley in another group and Joe joined Neville, Carmeita and Earl.

They all started to rehurse their lines and in no time they had all memorised all the lines!

After one long month, it was time for dress rehursal.

Everyone was practicing a scene.

"Muahahahahahahahaha!" Hermione cackled. "No- that's not right. Moahahahahahahaha-No-

Hehehehehee!-Nuh uh- Muuaahhahhahhahhahhaaaaa! That's it!"

Ron nodded in aproval.

"Now kiddies, does everyone have their costumes on?" Olaf asked.

Everyone shouted 'Yes!' at the top of their lungs.

"Okay, now we start the rehursal. Into places everyone!"

They did the rehursal and it was three words, FAB U LUS!

Later that day...

"Yippey!" Harry shouted, as he skipped down the hall merrily.

"I think I did very well at my part."

"You ate me." Ron scoffed.

Harry chuckled.

Ron glared at his friend.

"It really was fun-" Harry was cut off by the sound of someone crying.

Ron and Harry looked at a closet that they had never seen before, the door looked old and rotten.

"Who-" Ron began but Harry put his hand over Ron's mouth.

"Be quiet, I want to find out who is is!" Harry wispered.

Ron bit down on Harry's hand.

"Ow! RASA FRASA LASCA FRASA! Owch!" Harry shouted.

"THAT HURT!"

Ron shrugged and opened the closet.

Luna sat in the closet, a paper bag over her head.

"Luna, are you alright?" Harry asked.

"Umm... I'm sorry but Luna's not here right now, please leave a message after the beep. Beeep!" Luna relpied.

"Oh, um this is Ron and we're just wondering if Luna could get back to us soon... bye." Ron said and then started to walk down the hall. After about five seconds he said, "Wait a minute."

and then turned back and looked in the closet, when he got back Luna wasn't there she was running down the hall where Harry and him had been.

"HARRY! COME BACK!" She screamed at the top of her Lungs.

She ran down the hall,like a puppy looking for Harry.

Harry and Ron shrugged, they went over to the window sill and stared at the sky.

There were fireworks, that said:HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

"Everyday somebody has a birthday." Said Harry.

"Wow, that's a lot of cake." Said Ron.

Luna came up in between the two boys, and stuck her index and thumb really close together, but not touching.

"Are you afraid of a man this small?" Luna asked Harry and Ron "Caus I am."

Luna popped back in to the crowd/

"Night" Said Ron

"Don't let the bed bugs bight!" Said harry, like a disney character.


	17. Chapter 17

Everyone was ready to watch the play. They were just getting prepared.

Olaf tracked Esme down, she was with Snape in north tower.

Esme and Snape sat at the edge of the balcony, they looked into each others eyes, Then Olaf butted in.

" Oh, Esme look who 's got a new girlfriend-

"Just wait a minute" Said Esme listening to Snape.

" I've never felt this way about anyone before.." Snape got on his knee. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Esme gigi genivive, will you marry me?"

Esme's face lit up as if she were announced the 'in' queen, Olaf's mouth dropped, he ran away, he could hear her screaming joyfully as he an away, he finally fell to the ground and began to cry.

_I don't know your face no more  
Or feel your touch that I adore  
I don't know your face no more  
It's just a place I'm looking for  
We might as well be strangers in another town  
We might as well be living in a different world  
We might as well  
We might as well  
We might as well_

I don't know your thoughts these days  
We're strangers in an empty space  
I don't understand your heart  
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town  
We might as well be living in a another time  
We might as well  
We might as well  
We might as well be strangers  
Be strangers  
For all I know of you now  
For all I know of you now  
For all I know of you now  
For all you know

Olaf ran into the audience.

Everyone was quiet. The play was about to begin.

_Klaus the Cloud Slayer _

_Theme Song:_

_Klaus in high pitched voice: _

_When the world is in trouble there's only one who can save the day, _

_Klaus the Cloud Slayer! _

_Person: _

_OH MY GOSH! IT'S A MAN! _

_Narrator:_

_He has supper cloud strength, it makes the ladies faint. _

_He's always there, but if it's a stupid little cat in a tree, he won't care!_

_Ron and Hermione always gotta plot, Klaus always stops them on the spot!_

_Ron and Hermione: _

_LA LA LA! _

_Klaus still in a high pitch voice: _

_Klaus the Cloud Slayer! _

_Episode One: _

_It all started out with a magical, little rain drop._

_And it evolved and evolved until it became KLAUS THE CLOUD SLAYER! _

_He stood in the middle of the road, showing off his awesome pecks and manly underwear. A group of screaming fan girls ran down the street at him... and they were screaming. Klaus flew up into the sky and looked at his watch._

_"Coffee Break." he said. _

_He flew off to the nearest Starbucks coffee shop and turned into his hidden identity, NORMAL KLAUS! _

_Klaus in his hidden identity walked threw the door and walked over to the counter._

_"One Moca Late." he said. _

_The Lunch Lady crossed her arms and scowled at him. _

_"Hmm..." she grunted, then went off to get his coffee._

_His sisters walked threw the door, they were his sidekicks, SUNNY THE SUNSHINE SLAYER and VIOLET THE VAPOUR SLAYER, but they were in their secret identities, NORMAL SUNNY and NORMAL VIOLET. _

_They walked over to him._

_The Lunch Lady came back to the counter and handed Klaus his coffee._

_"Thanks Earl," he said, and flipped her a quarter, "Here's the tip." _

_The Lunch lady grunted and walked off into the kitchen. Klaus turned to his siblings. "What's the trouble?" _

_"Ron and Hermione!" Sunny shrieked._

_By, "Ron and Hermione!" she meant the new super-villains that had appeared mysteriously._

_Klaus narrowed his eyes._

_"We've found out how they were created." _

_Violet whispered, and then looked around suspiciously, even though they only person in the coffee shop was Joe, the bus driver. _

_She continued:_

_"It started with a magical, big, evil thunder bolt._

_Then it evolved and evolved and turned into Ron and Hermione... and a cake." _

_"What kind of cake?" Klaus demanded._

_"Carrot." _

_"The fiends!" Joe the bus driver, off in the corner laughed menacingly._

_The three looked at him and he hid behind his newspaper._

_The three ran out the door._

_Earl, the lunch lady, watched them, a grimace on her face. _

_"Kids." she scoffed. _

_Joe nodded. "Kids." he muttered. _

_Ron walked into the "Evil Layer", his large calor flopping around. _

_Hermione was sitting in a huge egg chair, playing pinball on a hand held video game._

_Ron sat beside her in a matching egg chair and sat there for a moment._

_"What happened today, honey?" Hermione asked, putting away the video game._

_"I feel like evil won't prevail..." he admitted, but Hermione cut him off. _

_"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? EVIL WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL BECAUSE GOOD IS DUMB! REMEMBER THAT!" _

_Ron stared at his girl friend, wide-eyed. _

_She sank back in her egg chair and said, "Sorry, honey." _

_"It's alright. You are right anyways, like you always are. Right, but mental." he said. Hermione smiled sweetly._

_"aww... thank you! So what's the plan, boss?" _

_"Here is the plan, we..." _

_TO BE CONTINUED! _


	18. Chapter 18

"So, what did you think of the first episode?" asked Rita to Olaf.

Olaf didn't care, he was to busy glaring at esme and snape, cuddling, Esme wearing a 64 carrot ring.

"Well...?" Asked Rita annoyed that he was staring at Esme, instead of her.

Before they could say any thing the next episode started.

_KLAUS THE CLOUD SLAYER_

_Episode Two: Cheese! _

_Ron stood over a large pot, full of... of... SOUP! _

_He dropped a slab of beef in and then noodles._

_Hermione walked in to the room, playing her video game._

_"Oh Hello, Honey." Ron said delightedly._

_"Yes!" Hermione excalimed. _

_Ron smiled wickedly. "'Yes' is corect! Our plan will work!" he excalimed. _

_"Yes! Level ten!" Hermione shouted. _

_Ron looked bug-eyed at his girlfriend and blinked sevrel times._

_"Wha?" he asked stupidly. _

_Hermione looked up from the game. _

_"Did you say something dear? OH SOUP!" she excalimed._

_Ron looked at the pot, he was standing over and smiled wickedly again._

_"Yes, Soup..." he said triumphantly._

_"Why are you making soup? Why is there a slab of beef floating in it and why are you wearing a pink dress? It should be blue!" Hermione said, putting away her video game. _

_Ron looked at the dress he was wearing._

_"I like it pink._

_" "Blue!"_

_"Pink!"_

_"Blue!"_

_"Pink!"_

_"BBBLLLUUUEEE!"_

_"PPPIIINNNKKK!"_

_"Enough of that."_

_"Okay, what's the plan?"_

_"We shall take over all the cheese factories and then cover the word in CHEESE!"_

_"Then why'd you make soup?" _

_"I was hungry!"_

_Hermione shrugged and started to play her video game again. _

_Ron went back to making his soup. _

_At StarBucks..._

_NORMAL KLAUS, NORMAL VIOLET and NORMAL SUNNY sat at a table in the corner of the deserted cafe. Violet leaned in close to he siblings and told them the news, she was the gossip queen so she knew the down low._

_"There's a rumor going around that Ron and Hermione are going to start their evil plan tomorrow. And you didn't here it from me." she said._

_Klaus and Sunny looked at each other._

_"But we just heard it from you." Klaus protested. _

_Sunny shook her head._

_"What's there evil plot?" she asked. _

_Violet looked around even though it was only Earl and Joe in the café._

_Then she lowered her voice and said: _

_"They're going to cover the world in cheese." _

_Her siblings gasped. Klaus narrowed his eyes. _

_"First the cake and now this! Those horibble people!" he exclaimed._

_There was another maniacal laugh from Joe and he hide behind his newspaper._

_"And the other bad this is... they have henchmen." Violet said._

_They gasped again._

_"There's Duncan, there's Quigley and then there's Isadora."_

_They gasped again!_

_"We must stop them!" Klaus shouted, standing up suddenly._

_So they ran out the door and turned into their real identities: KLAUS THE CLOUD SLAYER, VIOLET THE VAPOR SLAYER and SUNNY THE SUNSHINE SLAYER._

_They flew off into the clouds and there they met... met... _

_Klaus, Violet and Sunny found themselves face-to-face with Duncan._

_He was a Stratus Cloud and one of the worst ever!_

_"Muahahahahahaha! So you have some to try and defeat me?" he laughed._

_The three heros looked at each other and then back at Duncan. _

_"Not really." Klaus admitted._

_Duncan sighed. _

_"Fine be that way." he said, turning his back to the three._

_Sunny shrugged and the three flew past him and on to their next chalenge, Isadora._

_She was crying, it explained the sudden rain over one part of the city. _

_She was a terrible Cirrus cloud. _

_"Are you sure Cirrus clouds can make rain?" Violet asked Isadora. _

_Isadora shrugged and went back to crying... then she saw Klaus!_

_Her true love!_

_TO BE CONTINUED..._


	19. Chapter 19

The crowd was cheering wildly, they loved it!

_Episode 4: Fiona the Fungi Slayer and Mushroom Man._

_Violet and Sunny stared at the dark wall._

" _I wish Klaus the cloud slayer was here." Said Violet glumly._

" _me too." said Sunny. _

" _Aye! No need to fear, Fiona the Fungi Slayer is here!_

" _Who are you?" asked Sunny._

" _Hey- your FUNGI FIONA!" Cried Violet with horror._

" _I was Fungi Fiona, It all ended when...when MUSHROOM MAN DUMPED ME!...for ..for ...PORTOBELO PAMMY!_

" _Portobelo?" asked Sunny, confused._

" _Portobelo is a type of mushroom." Said Violet._

"_It's more than that! " Said Fiona."My dear love, picked her over me, we used to rule the world together...but then he found out, I'M AN ANTIBUXTOROUS!"_

" _oh dear." said Violet._

"_That's why I've come here, to let you free, and date Klaus." Fiona had hearts in her eyes._

" _Your in love with my brother?" Asked Violet._

" _Well, no...but he's the next best thing to Mushroom Man."_

_Fiona took her mushroom hat, put it up to the door, pushed a button, and the bars broke down._

" _Well, that was easy." _

_They changed into their normal Identities, NORMAL VIOLET, NORMAL SUNNY and NORMAL FIONA. They walked into Starbucks._

_Chris was at the counter, crying._

" _Chris, why are you crying?" asked Sunny._

"_JOE!" He cried._

"_Now, that's just wrong!" exclaimed Fiona, disgusted._

"_I'm the replacement guy!"he said._

_They stared at him._

" _For Earl, she loved Joe, and she doesn't know where he is." Chris explained_

"_oh." They all said at the same time._

" _Hi, I'm Earl!...Well no, I'm not."_

_Then Carmelita came up to him, and they started kissing, then they danced into the sunlight._

" _I used to do that with mushroom man." Fiona cried._

" _Duncan, Isadora, Quigley, Joe, Hypno toad and Earl, come to me!"_

"_So that's where Earl is..." Said some guy._

_Some guy popped back into the crowd._

" _Your mission is to collect all the cheese in the world, and then I need you to melt it in the cheese melter! Explained Ron, Evilly._

" _Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Cackled Hermione._

_So the horrible troupe got working on collecting all the cheese in the world and taking over!_

_Klaus sat in his bed at the mental hospital, St, Mungos._

"_Cloudy, cloudy, cloudy..." he repeated over and over again._

_Fiona, Violet, Klaus and Sunny walked into St. Mungos._

"_I like to move it , move it! I like to move it, move it..." He chanted._

"_Klaus?" Violet asked._

" _La la la ." He replied._

_Fiona came up to him, and gave him a weak smile, Klaus smiled back at her._

_A vibration wave went past him Klaus gulped and then he wasn't mental anymore, Fiona's beauty had cured him!_

" _Cloudy!" He exclaimed._

_Fiona hopped onto Klaus' back, and they flew off._

_Ron and Hermione's evil minions got all the cheese in the world, and melted it, and ruled the world, until KLAUS THE CLOUD SLAYER CAME!_

_Klaus went from town to town, from city to city, from country to country, and ate all the cheese._

_Klaus was very obece after the expieriance, so he worked out for a day, and was back to normal._

_Klaus and Fiona fellin love and went on a date, and many after that, and they lived happily ever after-well that's what I would like to tell you, but since I am Lemony Snicket, I must tell you the truth, and the sad truth, is that the truth is sad._

_Since Klaus was to wrapped up in his love life, Ron and Hermione were ruling the world...again._

" _I'm bored." Hermione sighed."_

" _I thought ruling the world would be more fun."_

" _But it's not a pick nick...I like pick nicks."_

" _I'm going to krispy kreemes." said Ron._

" _I'm coming!" Exclaimed Hermione excited._

_At krispy kreemes..._

" _Those doughnuts look so evil..."Said Ron_

"_Doughnuts!"Screamed Hermione, her face up to the window._

" _I'll have 30,000 dozens TO RULE THE WORLD!"Asked Ron to the counter girl._

" _HEY ARE YOU RON, THE EVIL ROTTEN LITTLE RULER! I'M LIKE THE PRESIDENT OF YOUR FAN CLUB!"She said excitedly._

" _I have a fan club?"Asked Ron, confused._

" _Yeah, she's Brittany Spears." Said Hermione, Disgusted._

"_Here are your krispy kreeme' s." Said Brittany Spears, hearts in her eyes._

" _Come, on let's go." Said Hermione, tugging on Ron's arm._

_Klaus sat in Madame Patifoots, waiting for Fiona._

_Fiona came in the shop._

_They ordered a cup of tea._

" _Fiona, I must confess something...I'M In LOVE WITH YOU!_

" _Now, that's just wrong!" Said Fiona , even though she's in love with him too_

_Fiona ran out of the shop._

_Squidward came up to Klaus, pointed at him and started laughing at him._

_Squidward popped back into the crowd, when Violet and Sunny came storming into the shop._

" _RON AND HERMIONE HAVE CREATED AN EVIL DOUGHNUT CREATER TO MAKE DOUGHNUTS!" Violet exclaimed._

" _cloudy." Said Klaus, wearily._

_The crowd was now at the edge of their seats._


	20. Chapter 20

_Episode five: The beginning_

_Klaus was very gloomy, becaus he thought Fiona broke up with him, but it was the fact that Fiona couldn't contain her joy about his secret...anyways._

_Violet, and Sunny sprinted to fight the evil doughnuts, while Klaus just dragged his feet along._

_They stepped at the gate way to the Evil layer._

"_My minions, let you be free!" Cackled Ron and Hermione, evily._

_The Doughnuts came charging at the three, Violet and Sunny started eating them, verouciously._

_Klaus lazily picked some, and ate it, slowly._

_Klaus ignored most of them._

" _Well, that's no fun." Said Ron, sadly._

_Ron pulled down the switch, the doughnut went to sleep._

_The three walked into the evil lair._

"_Prepare for the clamactic battle!"_

" _Now, my honeybun shall take his true form!" cackled Hermione._

" _A CAKE" Ron exclaimed._

_Ron brought hypno- toad close to his face._

_It croaked, and then Ron turned into a cake, he looked up at Klaus._

" _I am your father!" He said._

" _Oh, that can't be good." Sais Klaus, worried._

" _No, your Not!" Pointed out Hermione._

" _oh...yeah."_

" _Now, I shall rule the world...and have fun!"_

" _NO,NO,NO!" Screamed Klaus, Violet and Sunny._

"_YES,YES,YES!" _

_Then Harry came along._

"_Hey guys...Oh cake!"_

_Harry did something evil...yet good._

_HE ATE RON!_

" _YOU ATE MY HONEY BUN!" Screamed Hermione, furious._

"_Ew, I think there's something stuck in there.."_

_Harry pulled out a mini Ron, he was the size of an action figure._

"_NOOOOOOOO!" Hermione Screamed._

_Violet and Sunny were cheering, while Klaus was still weary._

_Since Ron and Hermione had given up evil...for now, they let the clouds free, to their human form._

_Isadora came up to Klaus, she gave him a weak smile._

" _What do you want?" He asked, annoyed._

_Isadora was taken aback by his behavior._

" _Don't I mean anything?" she asked._

" _No."Klaus replied._

_Isadora began running, when Klaus caught her back, he held her, and began kissing her. _

_Later Isadora and Klaus got married, So did Violet and Duncan, so did Ron and Hermione, so did Fiona and Quigley, so did Harry and a mysterious girl called Luna, so did Joe and Earl, so did Carmelita and Chris, As for Sunny, a mysterious snake came along called the Incredibly deadly Viper, and they got married._

" _Evil shall always prevail, because good is dumb!"_

_THE END_

_Everyone gave the performance a standing ovation, when Cornelius Fudge came up to the stage._

" _I am so sad to give up this wonderful, wonderful job, but yet I am happy..."_

_The audience just stared at fudge, he went on._

"_Our candidates for the new Minister of Magic are: Percy Weasley, Orlando Bloom, and Brad Pitt."_

_All sorts of fan girls were screaming and shouting._

" _And the winner is...PERCY WEASLEY!_

_Everyone stared at fudge...and stared...and stared, when Percy came up to the stage. _

" _I take this job with great enthusiasm, so much that there's something I want to tell you all..." _

_Percy pulled down his pants, raveling a pair of short cut off shorts._

" _I like short, shorts do you like short shorts, who likes short shorts, I like short shorts..." He sang_

_And from that moment on, they knew this would be the best Minister of magic they will ever have._

_Later that night..._

" _Quigley, come to me." Olaf said._

" _What are you going to do with me?" whimpered Quigley._

" _Step inside." Said Olaf, pointing at the Olaf Machine._

_Quigley went in, scared. Olaf Pushed a button._

_Quigley came out of the machine, reveling a miniature version of Olaf._

" _I will raise him as if he were my own mini Olaf!" He said._

" _Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" cackled Rita._

" _Hey, how'd you get here?" Asked Olaf._

" _I dunno?" shrugged Rita, as she walked away. _


	21. Chapter 21

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Klaus, Violet and Sunny walked threw the grounds of Hogwarts. It was the day after the big play. Everyone was so happy about themselves, the best time for a battle between good and evil. They walked down to Hagrids hut and knocked on the door. No one came to the door. Then Ron noticed something on a rock beside the hut. It was a blue berry muffin!

"Voldimort was here." Harry said, frowning at the thought. The three baudilares and Ron and Hermione gasped.

"The fiend!" Klaus shouted. Harry put his hand over Klaus's mouth and Klaus bit it.

"OW! RASA FRASA RASKA!" Harry yelped. Violet opened the door a crack and looked inside.

"The coast is clear." she said looking at her siblings and friends. They crept inside, and then suddenly a bright light shone on them all, it was a spot light. There was a figure sitting in a leather arm chair, holding the light in place. It wasn't hagrid, that was for sure.

"Where were you on the sixth of Febuary?" the figure demanded. Everyone looked at eachother, except for Hermione, she was playing her video game.

"I thought you said the cost was clear!" Harry shouted at Violet.

"I didn't see Voldimort OK!" Violet snapped back. Sunny held up her hands.

"Enough!" she shouted. Everyone fell silent, even Voldimort. Sunny turned and looked at the poor creature that sat before her. "What are your demands." she said, as if she were a mob boss. Voldimort looked at the six kids.

"I want a death match, between me and Mr. Potter. No interferance and no cheesy commentary." he said, keepin' it cool.

"I'm Harry. My father was Mr. Potter." Harry said, smoothly. Voldimort rolled his eyes.

"What eva! Let's kick it old school!"

They gathered outside, Harry and Voldimort facing each other. The rest watched, popcorn and soda in their hands.

Voldimort made the first move. He used a new curse called "The 60's music curse" it causes the victim to here terrible 60's music.

"Sixtio!" Voldimort shouted. Harry's eyes widdened.

"No! Make it stop! Make it stop! the horror! the Horror! AHHHHH!" he screamed. Voldimort chuckled, then countered the curse and the music stopped.

"Thanks man, you're a life saver." Harry said. "...hey wait a minute!"

Harry made the next move. A new spell called, "Summon the Tap-dancing spiders" (you get the point).

"Summon Spidrious!" he shouted. A huge spider, with tap shoes on appeared infront of him. Ron screamed and clung to Hermione's shoulder. She blushed, then Ron noticed and they started to make-out. The spider started to dance and Voldimort fell to his knees.

"No! Ahhh! It's so tackey! AHHHH!" he shouted. Harry un-summoned the spider and then waited for the next move. Voldimort stood up and pointed his wand straight at Harry.

"Now Harry Potter, you shall perish!" he shouted, and then laughed manicly. Then they could hear faintly someone screaming. They payed no attention to it though.

Klaus and Violet were on the edge of their seats.

"This is really getting good!" Klaus exclaimed.

"Shh!" Violet said. "I wanna hear what's going on!"

"Avada-" Voldimort started, but before he could finish, Serious Black fell from the the sky and landed on Voldimort. Harry grimaced.

"That's gotta hurt!" he shouted. Then Serious, Harry, Klaus, Sunny, Violet and for some reason Voldimort got up and they started singing.

_Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me  
Said "it's gonna be a good one, just wait and see"  
Jumped out of bed, and I ran outside  
Feeling so ecstatic, satisfied._

_  
It's the best day ever (best day ever)  
It's the best day ever (best day ever)_

I'm so busy, got nothing to do  
Spent the last 2 hours just tying my shoe  
Every flower, every grain of sand  
Is reaching out out to shake my hand

It's the best day ever (best day ever)  
It's the best day ever (best day ever)

Sometimes the little things start closing in on me  
When I'm feeling down, I wanna lose that frown  
I stick my head out the window and look around  
Those crowds don't scare me, they can't disguise  
Its magic that's happening right before my eyes

Soon Mr. Moon will be shining bright  
So the best day ever can last all night  
Yeah, the best day ever's gonna last all night, now.

_It's the best day ever (best day ever)  
It's the best day ever (best day ever)  
_

_It's the best day ever (best day ever)It's the best day ever (best day ever)  
_

_It's the best day ever (best day ever)  
It's the best day ever (best day ever)_

When they were done, they all shook hands and Voldimort left. Then they all walked back to the castle, ready for bed.

Everyone except for Ron and Hermione who were still making-out. After an hour or so, they stopped kissing and looked at eachother. Then Ron started to sing.

Ron:

I'll be the one!

I guess you were right, when I met you.

There you were, wild and free! Reaching out, like you needed me!

The a helping hand, to make it right, I am holding you all through the night.

I'll be the one! I'll be the one!

Who will make all your sorrows undone. I'll be the light! When you feel like there's nowhere to run. I'll be the one to hold you when you and make sure you'll be alright.

My fear is gone, and I want to, take you from darkness to light.

There you were wild and free, reaching out like you needed me!

The helping hand to make it right, I am holding you all threw the night.

I'll be the one! I'll be the one!

Who will make all your sorrows undone. I'll be the light! When you feel like there's nowhere to run. I'll be the one to hold you when you and make sure you'll be alright.

You need me like I need you, we can make all our dreams come true! I can show you what true love means, just take my hand oh baby please!

I'll be the one, I'll the light, when you feel like there's nowhere to run!

I'll be the one! I'll be the one!

Who will make all your sorrows undone. I'll be the light! When you feel like there's nowhere to run. I'll be the one to hold you when you and make sure you'll be alright.

I'll be the one...

Hermione sighed, lovingly. Ron smiled delightedly.

"I love this woman!"

A few weeks later, back at Hogwarts it was Christmas, finally. Harry, Ron and Klaus jumped out of bed. They raced down the steps into the common room, neglecting their presents. Hermione, Luna, Violet, Sunny, Dobby, Isadora and Dunken sat in a circle on the middle of the floor. Violet and Dunken were making-out. Ron jumped into Hermione's arms, Harry into Luna's arms, and Klaus into Isadora's arms.

Sunny stood up and walked over to a coffee table and stood up on to it.

"Well, good bye! Merry Christmas!" she giggled.


End file.
